No Time Like the Present

When I enter the bathroom, messages must somehow be sent through the house to my family to let them know this is a good time to talk to mom about anything and everything. I'd like to say that the following account of my last night toilet conversation is abnormal, but sadly, (although the content differs) it is not.

knock knock
Me: What?
Cinderella: (opening the door, so I'm sure to hear her, I guess) Mom, is p-i-s-s-e-d a swear word?
Me: Well, it's not a nice word.
Cinderella: So, would you say it is in the family of swear words.
Me: Well...uh...It's not terrible, it's just not nice, and not something you should say.
Cinderella: So it's in the lesser family of swear words, like crap?
Me: Sure. Yeah.
Cinderella: Okay. (door closes)
seconds later...
Sleeping Beauty: Mom?
Me: sigh, What?
Sleeping Beauty: Listen how many 'of's are in this sentence in my book.
Me: Sleeping Beauty, I'm going to the bathroom.
Sleeping Beauty: (opening door--not sure if she was confirming my claim, or just being "helpful" so I could hear her--and reading from book) "The sister of the head of the committee of the Order of Rights was tired of"....Isn't that crazy? And that's only the first half of the sentence.
Me : Pretty crazy. Can you close the door please?
Sleeping Beauty: 'Kay
Snow White: Is mom in there?
Sleeping Beauty: Yeah.
Snow White: Mom, does Sister W have a sewing machine?
Me: I. am. going. to. the. bathroom!!! Can we talk about this later?
Snow White: But I have a hole in my jacket pocket and you said your sewing machine isn't working and I know when you go to her house to exercise in the morning you could take my jacket. I don't want you to forget. And the hole is getting bigger...(opens door)...see?
Me: Put it on my bed.
Snow White: But mom! Can't you just sew it now? I think you'll forget to take it to Sister W's. And I want to wear it tomorrow. Couldn't you use a needle and sew it now?
Me: In case you haven't noticed, I am sitting on the toilet. Can't you talk to dad about this?
Snow White: Well, he's busy. He's reading.
Me: (What?! You're kidding me.) Is he on the other toilet?
Snow White: No.
Me: Then he is definitely in a better position to help than I am. Can you close the door please?
Snow White: (clearly annoyed at my unwillingness to help) Fine! (door closes--not too gently)

And there you have it. My normal trip to the bathroom. My showers are the same way. I know you are thinking I should lock the door (and most of the time I do) but usually then it's a bunch of knocking, and then yelling loudly enough for me to hear through the door. The lock does nothing to tell them I may be busy. There has to be a "mommy's stuck in one place and would like some personal time but she loves you so go ahead and bug her" signal going out. This never happens to Daddy when he uses the bathroom or takes a shower. Ah, the joys(?) of being a mom....