April and May: A Tale of Whoa

There once was a valiant King who ruled humbly and justly over his little kingdom.  Not only was he kind, generous, smart and handsome, he also had skills.  Bathroom remodeling skills.  And, despite his occasional protestations ("What was I thinking to try this?!  I have no idea what I am doing!  I am a college professor, not a handyman!") he was competent, a perfectionist, and had wonderful results.

One morning, just after completion of the castle's first bathroom remodel, King woke up with a terrible pain in one hand.  "Whoa," he said, "that smarts."  And then he ignored it for a few days, continuing on at a particularly frantic pace in his work and church responsibilities.  He hired a nice boy from a neighboring castle to begin helping with the demo of the castle's Master bathroom, and a local tradesman to install the tile in said bathroom, all the while ignoring his pain in his left hand, and over-using his right hand.

Finally, the Queen had seen enough, and banished the King from the castle unless he saw a doctor.  After a trip to not one, but three doctors, he finally was referred to a hand specialist who said, "Whoa, you must stop activity all together if you ever want to get better."  Meaning that his hand muscles were strained and he must not do much work.  And certainly not any twisting and turning and lifting and pulling.  Which put a little bit of a rain cloud over the tiny kingdom and it's bathroom remodel.

The days ambled by.  The King tried really, really hard to rest.  But, he had a day job.  And it involved typing.  So, he did use his hands very sparingly, when absolutely necessary, but rested as much as he could.    He even had "fun" with the "speak to type" software on the computer..."No, not that!  I said...  Ugh.  Backspace, backspace, backspace..."  When he next visited the therapist, the kind man said, "Whoa, I expected those hands to be much better by now.  We must be more aggressive."  And began more strenuous therapy and a regimen at home that left the castle's occupants wondering if they were smelling things, or was Bengay really on the menu for the evening?

In the meantime, the Queen had started taking a new medication to try to help her chronic migraines.  "Whoa," she would say some mornings, "is that wall moving, or is it just me?"  Although that feeling went away after a couple of weeks, it still has not done anything to change the frequency or intensity of her migraine (/ pain / nausea / dizziness / fatigue / whatever yucky word best describes the worst symptom of her chronic condition that day / headaches) much at all.  Which means that she wasn't cooking very many meals, nor doing very many dishes or housecleaning, or much more than the bare minimum of survival.  

Gratefully, Queen K, a heroine from the far-away land of Texas, had scheduled a trip to visit for the Queen's birthday.  Being truly aware of the Queen's condition, as well as the new development in King's activity level, she fully expected a dirty house and worn out parents, and busy school girls to greet her.  But, still, she was surprised, and said, "Whoa!!" when she saw the princesses bedrooms, and got right to work.  She scrubbed and organized and cooked and worked magic (I am quite sure there was a Fairy Godmother involved, or perhaps some singing squirrels) and left the castle sparkling and nine meals in the freezer.   And even had a little bit of fun, too.

Finally, the three princesses finished up the busy end of the school year, and the wicked tired Queen set up a chore chart and schedule that made even the original Cinderella look like a lazy party girl.  And, while the princesses balked, "Whoa!!!!" when they saw their duties, they were fairly cooperative and definitely helpful in keeping the castle from being taken to the dump and the occupants from starving to death.  And then came June.  Which I suppose is another story, but not one that is much different (except, gratefully, some men from neighboring castles came and helped the Master Bathroom become workable, if not quite all the way beautiful, which makes a big differnce) from April and May, so we will end our story here.

And now, the morals of this brief tale of whoa:
1.  If you like to remodel bathrooms, but don't do it too often, you may get injured, thereby giving all saved funds by being a do-it-yourselfer to the kind physical therapist instead.
2.  If one adult in the house is pathetic (not intentionally, and through no fault or wish of her own) it makes for a very rocky household if the other adult cannot do dishes, cook food, mow lawns, or pull weeds.  We're talking Seven Dwarf cottage before Snow White got there rocky.  
3.  We need a maid.
4.  And a cook.
5.  And possibly a gardener, a butler, and a chauffeur.
6.  And definitely a long winter's nap.
7.  Or something.