Me: Girls, could you please come get your towels off of the bathroom floor?
Crickets chirping.
Me: Would you get some plates out for dinner?
Chirp, chirp.
Me: Does anyone want to watch TV?
All three: I do!!! I do!!!
Me: Oh. You're there. You want to watch TV? Well, take care of your towels and get the table set for dinner.
Sleeping Beauty: What? But why? (Said more like "but why did you just chop my head off or make me eat dirty socks" than "but why do I have to take care of my things and help with my dinner." You know, real abused and picked on.)
Snow White: But, they're not mine.
Sleeping Beauty: But, you never told us we had to do that.
Cinderella: It's not my turn to help with dinner.
Me: Fine. We don't have to watch TV.
Eventually, they all do the things I ask and get to watch their show. This, my friends, is why I continue to pay for cable even though I want to cry every time I get the bill. It is also why I am not going to be in the running for the "Mothers Who Don't Bribe Their Children With Electronics but Think of Something Better to Entertain Them With" award anytime soon. Which is just fine with me. Really. Because I think I'm right up there at the top for the "Most of the Words I Say Are Only Heard By Dust Mites Even Though There Are Children Standing Right in Front of Me" award. I'm expecting a big win soon. And won't the girls be excited? Their totally awesome mom will be famous and rich and then we'll have enough money to hire a maid so they don't have to pick up their towels. Or set the table. Ever.
What? There's no award like that? Oh. (Awkward pause.) I guess the girls are out of luck then. Too bad. I think I'm a shoo-in.
I took quite a bit of audiology in college, it has something to do with the tympanic membrain picking up sound waves that tickle the cochlear in just the right fashion, inother words, convenient hearing syndrome, it has been found in those of the mature male species as well, try it, say a word like, 'shovel', wait for a responce, then say a word like 'sex'!
ReplyDeleteAhhhh, so familiar and I don't even have tweens in the house!
ReplyDeleteThanks for always seeing the funny side to mothering. It keeps me sane.
there SHOULD be an award like that. should I start it? could I make money for starting an award? how do you go about starting an award? ............ deep thoughts by amy creer.
ReplyDeleteI say if you've got a printer, there's an award for anything you want. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat....no award? I was definitely going to give you a run for the money. Lately, the ONLY time there is silence at my house is when I've asked the kids to do something.
ReplyDelete...and then one day there won't be any kiddos in your house to "talk" to and you find yourself wondering "did I forget and leave that towel on the floor myself?"
ReplyDelete