I have always believed each child comes with their own sets of circumstances and needs. It seemed that when Cinderella was born, she came with a distinct personality that I fell in love with immediately. When our twins were born, it gave me an opportunity to see two little ones that I loved completely, but differently, because they were different. Snow White had dark black hair, Sleeping Beauty was almost bald. Sleeping Beauty was a night owl, Snow White was an early bird. They were different, but because they were the same age, they were parented essentially the same way.
Oh, I did give them different things they liked. All the pizza toppings were Sleeping Beauty's while Snow White got all the crust. SW got the peaches from the fruit cocktail and SB got the pears. SB loved to be cuddled while SW did better with a little bit of space. Different kids and different tastes, but as babies there weren't a lot of variations in the way we treated the girls and there weren't any discipline issues. It was easy to determine their tastes and adjust as needed. But one day, everything shifted.
I was cooking dinner. Mind you, dinners in the days of one three-year-old and two one-year-olds were quick and easy. So I had only spent about three minutes in the kitchen when I heard big sis Cinderella say, "Oh, yucky!" Whatever it was, it couldn't be good, and I went running.
Sleeping Beauty and Snow White were having a hey day splashing in the toilet. Their clothes were soaked, their hair was wet, and as I rushed through the hallway Snow White dipped a tampon applicator from the garbage into the toilet and lifted it to her lips to take a germ-filled drink.
"Nooooo!" I shrieked.
She jumped and then gave me a devilish grin. Sleeping Beauty giggled and leaned over to retrieve a piece of what I found to be the entire contents of the bathroom garbage floating in the toilet.
"No, yucky. No, no, no. You never play in the yucky water," I said as I pulled off their clothes and splashed them with hot water and more soap than was probably necessary.
I sat them, not so gently, in the hallway, preparing to clean up the bathroom so I could give them a proper sanitizing bath. Just to be sure they didn't try this trick again, I leaned close to their faces, and with my most menacing tone said, "Don't ever, ever, play in the yucky toilet again. That is naughty, naughty, naughty. You could get sick."
Sleeping Beauty stuck her bottom lip out and let a giant tear slip down her cheek. Good, I thought, she learned her lesson. Then, I turned to make sure Snow White had gotten the message. She, too, stuck out her bottom lip. And then spit in my face.
I literally jumped back. What did she just do? Did she really mean to do that? What am I going to do with this? Right then and there, I knew that I could never approach anything the same way with these girls. They were the same age, the same size, and had the same parents. But they had come to us completely different. I realized I had to rely on prayer and direction from above to know what to do with each of my three girls in all situations.
Still, eight years later, the girls react differently to most situations. Every time I think I've got them all figured out, they change, and I am forced to adapt and change my way of thinking and reacting. I think about that "day of the toilet" often and realize that each of my girls is a blessing from heaven who Heavenly Father has trusted me with. And, because they are all so different, they teach me more than I ever thought possible. They force me to not rely on my own understanding, but to seek guidance from our Father in Heaven to know how to best lead and guide them. So, them being so different, it seems, is good. In fact, different is great, because it offers me so many chances to grow and change and rely on my Heavenly Father to help me be the best mother I can, with continual "A-ha moments."
June 30, 2008
Different is Great
My sister's sister-in-law, over at Relishing Motherhood, is sponsoring a contest about an A-ha Moment of Motherhood. I was not going to enter, but since reading about her contest, I have been thinking of all of the "A-ha Moments" I have had as a mom, and there are many. Then, I saw that she extended the contest, and since I had already been thinking and decided to write about motherhood, I decided I'd go ahead and enter. Follow the links, and you can enter too...
June 20, 2008
Shopping Rules
It has come to my attention that buying clothing without your 11-year-old daughter present will render said clothing useless and extremely ugly. So, in order for you to not be stuck with clothing that you do not need and cannot possibly use, or to help you avoid returning everything you bought at 30 percent or more off, I will share with you the rules of shopping for a pre-teen.
1. Do not fool yourself into thinking that what you think looks exactly like the pants she picked out 15 hours earlier (and loved) will look the same to her.
2. Do not assume that since she liked one black built-in-bra tank top that she will like another that is two dollars cheaper and looks almost identical. It's not identical. Just get over it.
3. Do not in any way suggest that you think a shirt is cute. She doesn't want you to think it's cute. She wants all judgments of "cuteness" to come from within her knowledgeable, experienced self.
4. Don't buy gray pants. All of them are ugly. It doesn't matter that she has another pair she wears all the time, and cried when you told her they were now her sister's because they are four inches too short for her. This has nothing to do with the new pants.
5. Brown is now an ugly colored shirt. Even if it is $1.50 and she has one more exactly like it from last year,with a sweater to match that she wears and she loves. It is an ugly color and must not be worn.
6. Swimming suits are impossible to pick out on your own. Don't even go there.
7. And, by all means, don't think that you will get away with letting her sisters wear what she does not like just because they are great deals and super cute clothes. Nine is almost eleven, and at this age, they agree with pretty much everything she says (except that not all gray pants are ugly--just the ones you bought for under ten dollars and resemble the ones they own so closely that even old Sherlock Holmes may not be able to tell them apart.)
8. The best thing to do is to take your daughter with you, shut your mouth, and let her shop. Just look at all the trashy, really expensive things and tell her you think she would love them and you just might buy them for her. She'll object and turn to other racks that have cuter, less expensive things, but they will be gorgeous because SHE said they are.
If you follow these tips closely, you may actually find something that is on sale and acceptable. Don't get cocky and think you can get away with only following one or two of the rules. Those days are gone. Have another baby if you want to pick out your daughter's clothes from the clearance rack. It just won't work once they grow a mind of their own. Sorry.
1. Do not fool yourself into thinking that what you think looks exactly like the pants she picked out 15 hours earlier (and loved) will look the same to her.
2. Do not assume that since she liked one black built-in-bra tank top that she will like another that is two dollars cheaper and looks almost identical. It's not identical. Just get over it.
3. Do not in any way suggest that you think a shirt is cute. She doesn't want you to think it's cute. She wants all judgments of "cuteness" to come from within her knowledgeable, experienced self.
4. Don't buy gray pants. All of them are ugly. It doesn't matter that she has another pair she wears all the time, and cried when you told her they were now her sister's because they are four inches too short for her. This has nothing to do with the new pants.
5. Brown is now an ugly colored shirt. Even if it is $1.50 and she has one more exactly like it from last year,with a sweater to match that she wears and she loves. It is an ugly color and must not be worn.
6. Swimming suits are impossible to pick out on your own. Don't even go there.
7. And, by all means, don't think that you will get away with letting her sisters wear what she does not like just because they are great deals and super cute clothes. Nine is almost eleven, and at this age, they agree with pretty much everything she says (except that not all gray pants are ugly--just the ones you bought for under ten dollars and resemble the ones they own so closely that even old Sherlock Holmes may not be able to tell them apart.)
8. The best thing to do is to take your daughter with you, shut your mouth, and let her shop. Just look at all the trashy, really expensive things and tell her you think she would love them and you just might buy them for her. She'll object and turn to other racks that have cuter, less expensive things, but they will be gorgeous because SHE said they are.
If you follow these tips closely, you may actually find something that is on sale and acceptable. Don't get cocky and think you can get away with only following one or two of the rules. Those days are gone. Have another baby if you want to pick out your daughter's clothes from the clearance rack. It just won't work once they grow a mind of their own. Sorry.
June 17, 2008
A Good Plan
When my twins were born, I read some advice that was supposed to help with dealing with multiple laundry loads that come with multiple babies. The advice was to buy only white socks so that you didn't have to spend time matching up your twins' socks. At first it sounded crazy because I just love cute little socks that match outfits. But after a few months of having my house overrun by laundry where single tiny, adorable socks seemed to disappear into the abyss, I decided it was sound advice and determined to follow it. It was good advice, but I managed to take it a bit further.
Since the girls are only two years younger than Cinderella, I buy the same size socks for all three of the girls. Occasionally, Cinderella's socks are a bit short and Snow White's are a little big, but it usually works. I just sort of ignore the complaining about fit and throw all the socks into one drawer without folding them at all. It's glorious.
When Snow White and Sleeping Beauty were about four and Cinderella's tiny little behind was still wearing size four underwear, I was thrilled to take the laundry conservation concept a bit further. All the same size underwear for all. Even less sorting and folding. Throw all the underwear in the sock drawer. Sure, sometimes the underwear is a little snug on Cinderella and a little baggy on Snow White, but they suffer through. It's certainly not the reason I'm on the top of the meanest mom list for them, and it works great for me. Of course, it makes it so any time there is any underwear on the bathroom floor, the answer from all three is, "It's not mine," and I never know who's lying, because they all wear the same size. Aggravating.
Since one of our grandmas is coming to visit in a few days and we will soon be visiting the other grandma, I decided that there should not be a chance that grandmas should run into some of the girls' ratty and stretched out underwear. It was time to purchase some new ones.
I went all out. I bought three different sizes and styles and you would have thought I bought them a new toy, they were so excited. But, Sleeping Beauty (she's no dummy), she saw right through my evil plan.
"Mom, now you'll be able to know whose underwear is on the bathroom floor. Ah, man!"
I don't make extra laundry work for myself for nothing. I always have a plan.
Since the girls are only two years younger than Cinderella, I buy the same size socks for all three of the girls. Occasionally, Cinderella's socks are a bit short and Snow White's are a little big, but it usually works. I just sort of ignore the complaining about fit and throw all the socks into one drawer without folding them at all. It's glorious.
When Snow White and Sleeping Beauty were about four and Cinderella's tiny little behind was still wearing size four underwear, I was thrilled to take the laundry conservation concept a bit further. All the same size underwear for all. Even less sorting and folding. Throw all the underwear in the sock drawer. Sure, sometimes the underwear is a little snug on Cinderella and a little baggy on Snow White, but they suffer through. It's certainly not the reason I'm on the top of the meanest mom list for them, and it works great for me. Of course, it makes it so any time there is any underwear on the bathroom floor, the answer from all three is, "It's not mine," and I never know who's lying, because they all wear the same size. Aggravating.
Since one of our grandmas is coming to visit in a few days and we will soon be visiting the other grandma, I decided that there should not be a chance that grandmas should run into some of the girls' ratty and stretched out underwear. It was time to purchase some new ones.
I went all out. I bought three different sizes and styles and you would have thought I bought them a new toy, they were so excited. But, Sleeping Beauty (she's no dummy), she saw right through my evil plan.
"Mom, now you'll be able to know whose underwear is on the bathroom floor. Ah, man!"
I don't make extra laundry work for myself for nothing. I always have a plan.
June 16, 2008
Hiding Place
Today, we had some friends over to play and have lunch. I told the kids they could each have an Oreo after they finished lunch.
"What?!" said Cinderella, "Where have those been hiding?"
"I'm not telling," I said.
"I've been looking all over for them since we had our ice cream party."
As if I would tell her where my great hiding place is. But, what I'm worried about now is--did she find the treats I bought and hid for the airplane flight coming up soon, the stocking stuffers I forgot to use last year and hope to remember to use this year, the scrapbook I bought on clearance and hope to bribe her with sometime (when it's necessary to stoop that low), the Laffy Taffy I knew she couldn't resist even though the orthodontist said it's taboo, and the stash of cash I keep for lunch money or emergencies (like ice cream or M&M cravings)? Surely she's looked in all my regular places and found them, or she's just not as smart as I think she is. I think I may have to move things to the Oreo hiding place. The problem is, my church bag is just a little too small for all of that.
"What?!" said Cinderella, "Where have those been hiding?"
"I'm not telling," I said.
"I've been looking all over for them since we had our ice cream party."
As if I would tell her where my great hiding place is. But, what I'm worried about now is--did she find the treats I bought and hid for the airplane flight coming up soon, the stocking stuffers I forgot to use last year and hope to remember to use this year, the scrapbook I bought on clearance and hope to bribe her with sometime (when it's necessary to stoop that low), the Laffy Taffy I knew she couldn't resist even though the orthodontist said it's taboo, and the stash of cash I keep for lunch money or emergencies (like ice cream or M&M cravings)? Surely she's looked in all my regular places and found them, or she's just not as smart as I think she is. I think I may have to move things to the Oreo hiding place. The problem is, my church bag is just a little too small for all of that.
Literally
I just saw a commercial for a vehicle shopping website. The cute, enthusiastic girl on the commercial said that on their website you can look at all sorts of cars and their specs. She said, "You can literally drive the car."
Now, that's a way to conserve gas that I never even thought of. I wonder how far I could get on my wireless internet...
Now, that's a way to conserve gas that I never even thought of. I wonder how far I could get on my wireless internet...
June 13, 2008
Ugly lessons
We have a small creek that runs behind our neighborhood. There is a bridge over it with a walking path to connect our neighborhood and the one behind it. For some reason, the girls are obsessed with this bridge the last couple of weeks. Luckily for me, I had a great bargaining chip to use to get them onto a summer schedule. They could ride their scooters to the bridge IF they vacuumed their rooms, put their laundry away, brushed their hair AND their teeth, (which seemed to be the most unreasonable of all my requests) and got dressed. After some argument and a little helping along, they finally got finished with the necessary requirements and went outside to get their scooters. I opened the front door and said, "Someone needs to come in before you go and get a watch so you know what time you need to come home. Hurry and come grab one." I then went back to my business of folding laundry.
Two minutes later, I realize, no one has come to get their watch and there are no girls in the driveway. I was fuming! How dare they go without my say-so? How do they know how long I want them to be gone? I didn't even have time to tell them to stay together and not get in the water (which I was pretty sure they would do, but who knows?) I spent the next few minutes pondering ways I could calmly tell them that they crossed the line and consequently ruin what I am sure they viewed as the perfect summer--days spent riding their scooters and bikes to the fabulous bridge and playing all day. They would NOT be going to the bridge anytime soon, if ever again. They were DEFINITELY grounded from their scooters, if not their bikes and anything else that assisted a quick get-away from the house that was now sure to be their prison. They would be spending the rest of the day in their rooms thinking about how bad it was to leave the house without telling me where they were going (even though I knew) and when they would be back.
A couple of minutes later, I heard them all riding into the garage. "We'll have to tell mom," said one. "I don't want to," said another. "We'll have to say where we were. Let me tell her," said Cinderella. "Hmmm, what could it be?" thought I.
They came bursting into the door. "We are NEVER going to that bridge again," said Cinderella, with panic in her voice and tears beginning to puddle in her eyes.
"What happened?"
"I saw a HUGE snake. It was awful. It was big and black and almost got me."
"Good," I said, trying to keep a smile from creeping onto my face, (I'm compassionate like that) "It serves you right for going without permission and without following directions."
"It was terrible," said Sleeping Beauty, "we thought she was joking, but she wasn't. My heart is pounding so hard I think my head could pop off."
"Well, perhaps it was someone trying to teach you a lesson," I said.
"Mom, it was real. It was huge and I was so close to it. I can't believe it didn't get me. We are seriously never going there again," Cinderella promised.
"You're right, you're not. You are grounded from your scooters for the rest of the week," I explained.
"Good," Snow White said. "That was scary."
"Yeah, good" Cinderella said. "I'm still shaking. I could barely ride my scooter home, I was so scared."
"Me too," said Sleeping Beauty, "it would have been awful if it got her and you didn't know we were there. We would have had to go to a strangers house for help."
So that settles it. No more scooters. I can't decide if I am grateful for snakes just this once. I think I might really be their friend this one little day in my life. I just love when there are natural consequences, even if they're ugly ones.
Two minutes later, I realize, no one has come to get their watch and there are no girls in the driveway. I was fuming! How dare they go without my say-so? How do they know how long I want them to be gone? I didn't even have time to tell them to stay together and not get in the water (which I was pretty sure they would do, but who knows?) I spent the next few minutes pondering ways I could calmly tell them that they crossed the line and consequently ruin what I am sure they viewed as the perfect summer--days spent riding their scooters and bikes to the fabulous bridge and playing all day. They would NOT be going to the bridge anytime soon, if ever again. They were DEFINITELY grounded from their scooters, if not their bikes and anything else that assisted a quick get-away from the house that was now sure to be their prison. They would be spending the rest of the day in their rooms thinking about how bad it was to leave the house without telling me where they were going (even though I knew) and when they would be back.
A couple of minutes later, I heard them all riding into the garage. "We'll have to tell mom," said one. "I don't want to," said another. "We'll have to say where we were. Let me tell her," said Cinderella. "Hmmm, what could it be?" thought I.
They came bursting into the door. "We are NEVER going to that bridge again," said Cinderella, with panic in her voice and tears beginning to puddle in her eyes.
"What happened?"
"I saw a HUGE snake. It was awful. It was big and black and almost got me."
"Good," I said, trying to keep a smile from creeping onto my face, (I'm compassionate like that) "It serves you right for going without permission and without following directions."
"It was terrible," said Sleeping Beauty, "we thought she was joking, but she wasn't. My heart is pounding so hard I think my head could pop off."
"Well, perhaps it was someone trying to teach you a lesson," I said.
"Mom, it was real. It was huge and I was so close to it. I can't believe it didn't get me. We are seriously never going there again," Cinderella promised.
"You're right, you're not. You are grounded from your scooters for the rest of the week," I explained.
"Good," Snow White said. "That was scary."
"Yeah, good" Cinderella said. "I'm still shaking. I could barely ride my scooter home, I was so scared."
"Me too," said Sleeping Beauty, "it would have been awful if it got her and you didn't know we were there. We would have had to go to a strangers house for help."
So that settles it. No more scooters. I can't decide if I am grateful for snakes just this once. I think I might really be their friend this one little day in my life. I just love when there are natural consequences, even if they're ugly ones.
June 12, 2008
Come on, Baby
"If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, Come on, Baby, let me know."
This is what Sleeping Beauty kept singing as we made our way through Target this afternoon. No one said anything, but judging from the looks people gave us, I don't think anyone was particularly impressed with my parenting skills. Especially the old lady that nearly fell off her motorized shopping cart when she whipped around to give me the evil eye.
This is what Sleeping Beauty kept singing as we made our way through Target this afternoon. No one said anything, but judging from the looks people gave us, I don't think anyone was particularly impressed with my parenting skills. Especially the old lady that nearly fell off her motorized shopping cart when she whipped around to give me the evil eye.
June 11, 2008
Job Fair?
It seems that the concern of rising fuel prices is seeping into the world of make-believe. While working in the kitchen, I overheard the girls and their friends.
Cinderella: Okay, it's time to get paid. Here's your money.
Sleeping Beauty: What? Cinderella, that's not fair! When you asked if I wanted a job, you said it was a real job. I live two hours away from here (hmm, that hallway is getting pretty long) and there is no way I am driving that far to work for 30 minutes. I'll never get paid enough to even buy gas. That's not fair, I want a real job.
Friend: Well...you never really asked about the conditions of your job before you accepted. So... it's fair.
Sleeping Beauty: Fine, I quit!
I guess I am going to have to stop almost fainting every time I spend eighty dollars to fill up the van with gas.
Cinderella: Okay, it's time to get paid. Here's your money.
Sleeping Beauty: What? Cinderella, that's not fair! When you asked if I wanted a job, you said it was a real job. I live two hours away from here (hmm, that hallway is getting pretty long) and there is no way I am driving that far to work for 30 minutes. I'll never get paid enough to even buy gas. That's not fair, I want a real job.
Friend: Well...you never really asked about the conditions of your job before you accepted. So... it's fair.
Sleeping Beauty: Fine, I quit!
I guess I am going to have to stop almost fainting every time I spend eighty dollars to fill up the van with gas.
Environmentally Charged
Overheard at my house: "Mom, how many times have I told you to unplug your cell phone charger when you are not using it? Remember Mrs. H says it wastes energy?"
Oh, excuse me, Miss Environment Friendly, but can I just remind you of some of the sentences I have uttered directly to you in the last two days, at which you answered with a rolling of the eyes or a sigh of extreme impatience with my concern for saving the world?
"Cinderella, please close the door, the air conditioning is on."
"Cinderella, you don't need to have your radio on in your room if you are outside riding your scooter."
"Please turn off the bathroom light."
"You really don't need to let the water keep running the whole time it takes you to brush your teeth."
"Cinderella, please close the door."
"We don't wash just one outfit in the washing machine. We need to fill the washer every time we run it."
"Cinderella, please turn off the radio if you are going to practice your piano."
"Close the front door."
"Cinderella, could you turn out the lights in your room and the bathroom before you go back outside."
"There is no reason to have the TV on if you are reading."
"Could you turn off your piano lamp, please?"
"CLOSE THE DOOR!"
It sure would be nice to be eleven and know everything about green living, wouldn't it? I'll have to remember that cell phone thing.
Oh, excuse me, Miss Environment Friendly, but can I just remind you of some of the sentences I have uttered directly to you in the last two days, at which you answered with a rolling of the eyes or a sigh of extreme impatience with my concern for saving the world?
"Cinderella, please close the door, the air conditioning is on."
"Cinderella, you don't need to have your radio on in your room if you are outside riding your scooter."
"Please turn off the bathroom light."
"You really don't need to let the water keep running the whole time it takes you to brush your teeth."
"Cinderella, please close the door."
"We don't wash just one outfit in the washing machine. We need to fill the washer every time we run it."
"Cinderella, please turn off the radio if you are going to practice your piano."
"Close the front door."
"Cinderella, could you turn out the lights in your room and the bathroom before you go back outside."
"There is no reason to have the TV on if you are reading."
"Could you turn off your piano lamp, please?"
"CLOSE THE DOOR!"
It sure would be nice to be eleven and know everything about green living, wouldn't it? I'll have to remember that cell phone thing.
Beginnings
After some pressure from some family members, I have decided to create this here little blog. It will most likely consist of examples of what terrors my children can be. Now, you must know that I love them dearly and would gladly give my life for any of them. I love being their mom and watching them grow and learn. They are fun girls and make me laugh daily.
But, this doesn't make them perfect. Sometimes they are sweet. Sometimes they are considerate. Sometimes they behave. But you won't see much of that here. This is real life. Just because you're a princess, doesn't mean you always act like one. So, here's to real life adventures in our little kingdom!
(And please see the Royal Decree located on the top right of the screen. We would be happy if you would help us protect our family in your comments. And we love comments. If you forget and use real names or places, your comment will magically disappear. Bibbity-bobbity-boo.;))
But, this doesn't make them perfect. Sometimes they are sweet. Sometimes they are considerate. Sometimes they behave. But you won't see much of that here. This is real life. Just because you're a princess, doesn't mean you always act like one. So, here's to real life adventures in our little kingdom!
(And please see the Royal Decree located on the top right of the screen. We would be happy if you would help us protect our family in your comments. And we love comments. If you forget and use real names or places, your comment will magically disappear. Bibbity-bobbity-boo.;))
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