Different is Great

My sister's sister-in-law, over at Relishing Motherhood, is sponsoring a contest about an A-ha Moment of Motherhood. I was not going to enter, but since reading about her contest, I have been thinking of all of the "A-ha Moments" I have had as a mom, and there are many. Then, I saw that she extended the contest, and since I had already been thinking and decided to write about motherhood, I decided I'd go ahead and enter. Follow the links, and you can enter too...

To me, motherhood is a noble calling, a job so hard it sometimes seems too overwhelming. But, it has rewards that are greater than anything else I have experienced in my lifetime. It is a blessing to be the mother of three girls that bring more joy to me than I could imagine. The blessings are eternal and the growth I see in them, and me, are worth any hardships we endure together. There are so many days when I learn something about myself and my role as a mother from the girls.

I have always believed each child comes with their own sets of circumstances and needs. It seemed that when Cinderella was born, she came with a distinct personality that I fell in love with immediately. When our twins were born, it gave me an opportunity to see two little ones that I loved completely, but differently, because they were different. Snow White had dark black hair, Sleeping Beauty was almost bald. Sleeping Beauty was a night owl, Snow White was an early bird. They were different, but because they were the same age, they were parented essentially the same way.

Oh, I did give them different things they liked. All the pizza toppings were Sleeping Beauty's while Snow White got all the crust. SW got the peaches from the fruit cocktail and SB got the pears. SB loved to be cuddled while SW did better with a little bit of space. Different kids and different tastes, but as babies there weren't a lot of variations in the way we treated the girls and there weren't any discipline issues. It was easy to determine their tastes and adjust as needed. But one day, everything shifted.

I was cooking dinner. Mind you, dinners in the days of one three-year-old and two one-year-olds were quick and easy. So I had only spent about three minutes in the kitchen when I heard big sis Cinderella say, "Oh, yucky!" Whatever it was, it couldn't be good, and I went running.

Sleeping Beauty and Snow White were having a hey day splashing in the toilet. Their clothes were soaked, their hair was wet, and as I rushed through the hallway Snow White dipped a tampon applicator from the garbage into the toilet and lifted it to her lips to take a germ-filled drink.

"Nooooo!" I shrieked.

She jumped and then gave me a devilish grin. Sleeping Beauty giggled and leaned over to retrieve a piece of what I found to be the entire contents of the bathroom garbage floating in the toilet.

"No, yucky. No, no, no. You never play in the yucky water," I said as I pulled off their clothes and splashed them with hot water and more soap than was probably necessary.

I sat them, not so gently, in the hallway, preparing to clean up the bathroom so I could give them a proper sanitizing bath. Just to be sure they didn't try this trick again, I leaned close to their faces, and with my most menacing tone said, "Don't ever, ever, play in the yucky toilet again. That is naughty, naughty, naughty. You could get sick."

Sleeping Beauty stuck her bottom lip out and let a giant tear slip down her cheek. Good, I thought, she learned her lesson. Then, I turned to make sure Snow White had gotten the message. She, too, stuck out her bottom lip. And then spit in my face.

I literally jumped back. What did she just do? Did she really mean to do that? What am I going to do with this? Right then and there, I knew that I could never approach anything the same way with these girls. They were the same age, the same size, and had the same parents. But they had come to us completely different. I realized I had to rely on prayer and direction from above to know what to do with each of my three girls in all situations.

Still, eight years later, the girls react differently to most situations. Every time I think I've got them all figured out, they change, and I am forced to adapt and change my way of thinking and reacting. I think about that "day of the toilet" often and realize that each of my girls is a blessing from heaven who Heavenly Father has trusted me with. And, because they are all so different, they teach me more than I ever thought possible. They force me to not rely on my own understanding, but to seek guidance from our Father in Heaven to know how to best lead and guide them. So, them being so different, it seems, is good. In fact, different is great, because it offers me so many chances to grow and change and rely on my Heavenly Father to help me be the best mother I can, with continual "A-ha moments."