My New Future Plans

Yesterday, I had the privilege of sitting in a room of teenage girls, listening to their chatter. It's Prom week and they had a lot to say. Most of the girls had a dress already and described them to their friends, or showed the picture on their phones. They asked advice about how to wear their hair and where to get it done. They questioned each other about what to have their date wear and where to tell him to get the flowers. Were they wearing wrist corsages or pin corsages? What were they wearing after Prom? Where would they go to dinner and what were they doing before the dance?

I sat there in shock. I listened, and as they talked, I became more and more terrified of having three teenage girls in my home at the same time. I think we will move to a remote part of Canada when Cinderella turns sixteen and is allowed to date. This will accomplish many of my new future goals.

• Live somewhere that is freezing cold so the girls want to wear a coat and sweater all of the time. No strapless tiny squares of silk for us, thank you very much.
  
• Live somewhere where it is nearly impossible to find a teenage boy that has time to date girls. If the area is remote enough, everyone will need to walk uphill both ways in the freezing snow to get to school. Plus, all the boys will need to help out on the Christmas Tree Farms they live on.
  
• Live in a place that is big enough for me, but mostly King, to have enough space so that he can get away from the girls once a month and not have to actually move out of the house. A big farm ought to do the trick. No animals, but plenty of outbuildings to house hormonal teenagers.
• Live somewhere where there is no cell phone service and people haven't heard of Prom Magazine.
• Live somewhere where the weather is so lousy it ruins your hair so even doing it isn't worth the effort.
  

The only problem with this plan is that it is quite possible that one of my now melancholy teenagers may meet a vampire and fall in love with him. At least I've read about that happening before.