A Teensy Preview

This weekend, we head out of town for Sleeping Beauty's first official dance competition. Not only does this afford us the opportunity to use a lot of gas and find a McDonalds to eat at in a strange town, it lets us spend one whole Saturday immersed in dance. King can barely contain his excitement.

We had a formal meeting at the dance studio to make sure everyone was competition ready. The mom in charge looked directly at me when she said, "There will be one mom per group that is the inspector. If they tell you to put more make-up on your child, don't take it personally. They just need to be uniform on stage." I know this comment was especially for me because my ten-year-old was the only one at dress rehearsal that did not look like a drag queen.

Despite the overdone make-up, the girls did look mighty cute on stage. Here's a teensy preview of the dance. It could have been the whole dance had I remembered to take the pictures off of the camera before dress rehearsal. But, I didn't. And, you'll have to excuse the poor quality of the video. It was on my little digital camera, and I was a ways away. The dance director sort of frowned on people standing on stage to video tape their girls. She's kind of bossy that way.

(Sleeping Beauty is third from the left.)

Easter Events

Because I'm such a super on-top-of-things mom, these two pictures are the only two pictures I took Easter weekend. The girls trying on the new swimsuits I bought them. They fit, which is good, yet, they have nothing to do with Easter. Maybe it would have been more appropriate to take pictures of them in their new Easter dresses. Except I didn't buy them any. Yes, just one more reason for them to feel neglected and picked on. (I do my best.)
Luckily, someone else had the camera and snapped a couple of Easterish pictures during our festivities. First, the hunting of the eggs. (I'm in the background holding a tiny baby, which is why I took no pictures. I'm pretty sure I made the right choice. She was super sweet and tiny--just a week old, and, as you can tell, Cinderella preferred baby Grace over eggs, too.)

After the kids found all the eggs, the adults had an "egg fight". You tap your boiled eggs together and see which one cracks. The uncracked egg is the winner, and the owner of that egg moves on to the next round. This year, King won the egg fight, and I was second. SW and SB swear it was their egg dyeing skills that did it. I'm sure they are right, they dyed some pretty sweet eggs. They were great cheerleaders, too. It was a nice weekend with lots fun, friends, and food. Even our turkey dinner on Easter Sunday was delicious--despite the fact that we forgot to thaw the turkey and had to have chicken instead. I told you I was on top of things.

Impossible Dreams

In our family, we do Easter Egg hunts and Easter Bunny visits on the Saturday before Easter. It helps us to focus on our Savior on Easter Sunday. This year, the Easter Bunny has rocks in her head, and forgot to pick up a couple of things without the children in tow. So, on Friday night, as the girls were heading to bed, I remembered that the Easter Bunny was due to visit. I reminded the girls, and decided that they might be a little disappointed with their haul this year, but we would get over it. The twins are ten, for goodness sake, and should be catching on any minute to the whole "big bunny who likes to color eggs and deliver goodies to every child in the world" thing. So maybe using all of the candy from General Conference bribery, and not having sidewalk chalk for the first time in years, might force them to pause and think about the whole validity of the Easter Bunny idea.

Well, it didn't really go down that way after all. As soon as I told the girls the Easter Bunny would be coming that night and they should leave their baskets in the Family Room, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty headed to their room. When checking on them, I realized they were scribbling notes to the Easter Bunny. Because, apparently, the Bunny has now joined ranks with Santa Claus, and you can write your wish list to him. And boy, did they wish. Behold, Snow White's masterpiece of a letter:My personal favorite is "that is all I ask" followed by "Also, I would love some eggs." Needless to say, the Easter Bunny didn't grant her first wish, so it's good she threw in that whole egg thing. And, listening to them try to explain why maybe the Easter Bunny forgot to bring sidewalk chalk this year was classic, too.

"Maybe he thought we were too old this time."

"Oh, I bet he saw our old container in the garage and thought it had more than just a couple of pieces."

"Yeah, and maybe he didn't see how our last chalk got left in the rain. Mom, what does the Easter Bunny have instead of elves?"

"Or maybe the Easter Bunny didn't find the kind of chalk he always gives us, so he didn't want to just give us junky stuff."

"Hmmm...maybe. Maybe he just forgot."

Yes, maybe it was that. Cinderella listened to this and rolled her eyes so many times I'm surprised they didn't roll right out of her head. Although, I give her loads of credit for keeping her mouth shut and letting Snow White and Sleeping Beauty keep believing in the the impossible dream. They're now holding out for Santa to bring them sidewalk chalk and a Nintendo DS. I'll bet he remembers the sidewalk chalk anyway.

Happy Easter!

I spared you the tap dancing family and decided to share with you this great video that shares part of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talk from last week. Funny stories about this weekend will come, but, for now, may you have the blessing of feeling the love of Jesus Christ this Easter season.

It Worked For Us

I just loved General Conference this past weekend. I know I mentioned it a little before, but I thought I would share our conference success story with you. We really wanted our girls to recognize the power that is in the words of the prophets. The things they share with us are from God, and that's a big deal. We hoped that the girls would feel God's love for them as they listened, and have a renewed desire to follow Christ and his teachings. And, this is the first time that our girls listened, without complaining, to every session of General Conference. Every word. Eight hours. It was incredible!

The first two sessions, I already told you about. (I think bribery is awesome, by the way.) On Sunday morning, we went to our local chapel and listened to the broadcast there, instead of at home on the computer. We gave the girls instructions for this session.

1. Make up at least one quiz question per speaker to ask the rest of the family.
2. You can make as many questions up as you want.
   
3. Your questions must not be too picky or detailed, but should be tricky enough to try to stump your sisters.
   
4. You get one piece of candy for each correct answer you get to others' questions.
   
5. You get two pieces of candy if you stump everyone else.
6. You can take notes so you remember things to try to answer a bigger amount of questions correctly.
7. Mom and Dad can throw out questions that are too picky (i.e. What color was the third speaker's tie?) and can also write questions to try to stump you.
   

This was the best thing we could have done! They took notes, had from ten to twenty questions, and remembered a lot of things that even my notes missed out on. They listened and understood more from this session than any other. In the end, they cared more about what questions they were able to get right than how much candy they got, which is great! They spoke of their favorite talks and things they had learned.

For the second Sunday session, we played Conference Bingo. This kept them quiet and listening, but I don't think they got as much out of it. They were mainly listening for words, rather than thinking about what the messages of the speakers were.

So, I've decided that next time, in October, we'll try the quiz game for more than one session, and as they get older, do only this. Hopefully we can lose the candy, too.

Lest you think that we had a delightful weekend with mounds of spiritual enlightenment, and now have perfect children, let me assure you, we do not. Monday morning Cinderella got up on the wrong side of the bed, and still hasn't recovered. She's grounded, and the twins are about a tantrum away from losing all of their possessions. So, it seems that despite two days of overwhelmingly feeling the Spirit and learning and knowing the importance of family and gospel living, we still have challenges. Someone should come up with a better way for us to learn and grow, I think. I'm a little tired of this parenting one.

Gas Guys

Why is it that my van always needs gas on the days that the gas prices jump up ten cents? I swear that it happens to me every time. And, lucky for me, it was below freezing, too. I just love standing in the freezing wind putting gasoline in my car. But, mostly I love the scary looking guys there that joke with me about how warm the Spring is here. Just for fun, to keep my mind off the freezing cold, I memorized the clothes and faces of the guys in case I hear later that there was a robbery. I mean, with gas prices climbing higher, you really never know what someone delusional enough to flirt with me at the gas station will do. I drive a mini-van, for heaven's sake! (But, I was wearing my four-year-old sweater, so it's possible that they just couldn't help themselves.)

Fashionista

This morning, Spring gave us a gift of snow and below freezing wind chills. When I put on a sweater, I discovered it had a hole in it. I thought to myself, "A hole? This sweater is practically brand new. I just bought it. How can it have a hole in it?"

And then I thought about when I bought it. It was when the twins were in Kindergarten. They're now in fourth grade. Four years ago. Okay, so clearly my perspective is a bit skewed. At least I'm not wearing anything I wore in high school. And it's not only because they woudn't fit anymore. I really don't think I'd look good in acid washed peg leg jeans. I mean, without the matching jacket, why even bother trying them on?Yikes! when I did a quick google search for a picture (found this one at rustyzipper.com), I discovered that acid washed peg leg jeans are making a comeback. Heaven help us all!

Conference, Bribery, and Other Odd Random Thoughts

I love General Conference weekend. I love hearing the words of our Prophet and other inspired church leaders. Great messages and many things for me to learn and ponder. If you missed it, you can go here and listen to the archives from Saturday, or listen to it live on Sunday here at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. Mountain Daylight Time. The information says that archives are available in 71 languages four hours after a live broadcast. Wow! Imagine the people and effort that takes. It amazes me. This afternoon, as we listened, we had a big picnic in front of the computer for the first session, and for the second session, we pretty much bribed our kids to listen--or at least be quiet enough that King and I could listen. We had twelve kinds of candy, and assigned a word (such as Prophet, Jesus Christ, Faith, Prayer) to each one. When the girls heard a speaker say one of those words, they could get the treat that corresponded with it. It was amazing. They were shushing us if we commented on something someone said. They didn't want to miss a thing. I was surprised how much of the content they actually picked up. King had a quiz for "bonus candy" at the end of the session, and they got almost every answer right. Hopefully we can afford all of the cavities they'll get from all of that candy.

In other weekend news, I painted Sleeping Beauty's tap shoes red to match her dance costume, King got ready to plant some grass in our bald spots (on the lawn, not his head), we got a new inhaler for Snow White and allergy meds for Sleeping Beauty, and I looked again at swimming suits and determined that none would fit me well enough to hide the flaws that show when I am not wearing winter clothes. So, it seems that Spring is on it's way, even if it's supposed to snow twice this week.

My Superpower

I have a superpower. I think a lot of mom's have it, occasionally. Last night I was invisible. It started just after the kids got home from school, and continued until they were in bed. Just in case you ever want this superpower, I'll let you know the details. This is how it happened...

The girls got off the bus. I smiled and asked them how their day was. No one answered me. Instead, they whined about having nothing to eat and how horrible their lives are.

Then, we had ballet class and an orthodontist appointment. I told the girls involved with these activities to get ready; they had fifteen minutes. Approximately 17 and 1/2 minutes later, I was yelling urging Cinderella to brush her teeth and just get in the van already, at the same time I was helping Snow White with her tights that would not cooperate (i.e. they have seams in the toes, how unreasonable!) We were late for ballet, and cruised in to the orthodontist's office in just enough time to for them to pronounce Cinderella's teeth disgustingly dirty. (Alright, so they didn't say this. But, I saw the teeth and I can tell you that this is what the good doctor thought. They were gross, and of course, not brushed. Because I'm invisible, remember? So, they told her to brush them, and she went to the sink immediately, acting like she hadn't heard those same words from me for the last 1/2 hour.)

I somehow managed to Clark Kent my superpower for the next thirty minutes, as I took Cinderella to visit her Young Women leader and her tiny newborn daughter. Somehow Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella could see and hear me as I gave detailed accounts of their births to the questioning new mom. They were slightly appalled, yet surprisingly attentive, asking questions and interacting with me like human beings. I thought I had their attention.

But, no.

I'm thinking now that it must have been the hospital that masked my super power, because as soon as we walked out the doors, I was undetectable once more. We headed back to the dance studio for a required "mom meeting" where I patiently told the girls they had one hour to work on their homework and get things done while I attended the meeting. For the next hour, I listened to a Mary Kay make-up sales pitch, thinly veiled as a dance company make-up "how-to" session, and learned how to part my daughters hair correctly over her left eye. (I was glad I was invisible for this part, my rolling of eyes and exasperated sighs may have been embarrassing had the other moms heard.)

What were the girls doing? Homework, you say. Why, of course not! They were running outside, pushing each other, giggling, and anything else you can imagine three terrors let loose in a dance studio would do. The mounds of homework were undone, and bedtime was in twenty minutes.

So, as we drove home, I lectured myself on responsibility, obedience, and integrity. I added in a little vigilance and work ethic for good measure. It was an astounding lecture. It's too bad no one else heard me.

Foolish

April Fool's Day. The silliest holiday on the planet. The thing that I don't like about this day is that you have to come up with something new every year. Last year's trick won't work unless you have very gullible or forgetful children. Mine tend to talk about a trick for months, so they never forget. Here's the rice crispy meatloaf and ice cream mashed potatoes I served them last year:
They thought it was hilarious, and reminded me how fun it was last week. Last week. So, they won't fall for it again. Here I am on the morning of April 1st (nothing beats procrastinating things until the very last minute), trying to think of something fun and creative to do to surprise the girls. Maybe I'll tell them I planned a trick for weeks. That's the joke. That I planned ahead. Funny, eh? (I know, they won't like it either.)

In other foolish news, I started another new "maintenance" medicine for my headaches yesterday. The last one was possibly working, but it was too hard to tell because I was sleeping an average of only four hours a night, and not enough sleep is one of the triggers of my migraines. So, it's on to another new medicine to try. Just call me lab rat.

I was not too happy about this new endeavor yesterday, so had myself one of those "I feel sorry for myself so why should I bother doing anything constructive?" days. It was nice. Although, I ate all of the chocolate chips left in the freezer (don't worry, there wasn't a whole bag or anything--probably just two or three handfuls worth. Fine, probably four. Anyway...) So now all I have tucked away in the freezer for those emergency doses of chocolate to save my sanity are store brand butterscotch or vanilla flavored blobs of wax. This will not work for long.

Luckily, I wrote a limerick that is in a contest over at Diapers and Divinity. If I win, Steph has promised to send me some chocolate. So, hop on over there and vote for my limerick. Or, vote for any of them that you like. But, mine is a true story, and you should probably vote for me just because what is more foolish than accidentally showing off your nursing bra and everything surrounding it to the bishop and everyone else on the stand? It's April Fool's Day, so it seems fitting. I wish it had been April Fool's Day then. At least I could have pretended it was a joke instead of my real life. C'est las vie.