My Superpower

I have a superpower. I think a lot of mom's have it, occasionally. Last night I was invisible. It started just after the kids got home from school, and continued until they were in bed. Just in case you ever want this superpower, I'll let you know the details. This is how it happened...

The girls got off the bus. I smiled and asked them how their day was. No one answered me. Instead, they whined about having nothing to eat and how horrible their lives are.

Then, we had ballet class and an orthodontist appointment. I told the girls involved with these activities to get ready; they had fifteen minutes. Approximately 17 and 1/2 minutes later, I was yelling urging Cinderella to brush her teeth and just get in the van already, at the same time I was helping Snow White with her tights that would not cooperate (i.e. they have seams in the toes, how unreasonable!) We were late for ballet, and cruised in to the orthodontist's office in just enough time to for them to pronounce Cinderella's teeth disgustingly dirty. (Alright, so they didn't say this. But, I saw the teeth and I can tell you that this is what the good doctor thought. They were gross, and of course, not brushed. Because I'm invisible, remember? So, they told her to brush them, and she went to the sink immediately, acting like she hadn't heard those same words from me for the last 1/2 hour.)

I somehow managed to Clark Kent my superpower for the next thirty minutes, as I took Cinderella to visit her Young Women leader and her tiny newborn daughter. Somehow Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella could see and hear me as I gave detailed accounts of their births to the questioning new mom. They were slightly appalled, yet surprisingly attentive, asking questions and interacting with me like human beings. I thought I had their attention.

But, no.

I'm thinking now that it must have been the hospital that masked my super power, because as soon as we walked out the doors, I was undetectable once more. We headed back to the dance studio for a required "mom meeting" where I patiently told the girls they had one hour to work on their homework and get things done while I attended the meeting. For the next hour, I listened to a Mary Kay make-up sales pitch, thinly veiled as a dance company make-up "how-to" session, and learned how to part my daughters hair correctly over her left eye. (I was glad I was invisible for this part, my rolling of eyes and exasperated sighs may have been embarrassing had the other moms heard.)

What were the girls doing? Homework, you say. Why, of course not! They were running outside, pushing each other, giggling, and anything else you can imagine three terrors let loose in a dance studio would do. The mounds of homework were undone, and bedtime was in twenty minutes.

So, as we drove home, I lectured myself on responsibility, obedience, and integrity. I added in a little vigilance and work ethic for good measure. It was an astounding lecture. It's too bad no one else heard me.